And the fact is, your family may never be. You may think your family isn’t ready to meet your boyfriend - or to even know he exists - but your relationship is ready. But you know you have to tell your family eventually, and it’s been a year, and your boyfriend is growing weary. I’ve never been in your situation and I can’t pretend to understand exactly what it feels like, the delicate position of trying to honor your family’s needs as well as your boyfriend’s needs, especially when the mere existence of one is at odds with the other. And the “When are you going to tell them?” question will hang in the air like the proverbial other shoe waiting to drop.
Either way, as long as you continue keeping your boyfriend in the closet, at least in regards to your family, he will continue to feel confused about your intentions. I’m not sure what your problem is with the “long-term thing” - if you are avoiding the discussion because commitment scares you and you aren’t ready to have that discussion with your boyfriend yet, or because you feel like it’s already been established that this is a long-term relationship and you’re offended that your boyfriend doesn’t seem to trust your intention. You may not want this issue to affect your relationship, but it already has. I love my boyfriend and he is amazing to me, but I don’t want issues like this to affect our relationship.
#Why am i gay if i dont have a boyfriend how to
Eventually, I would like to invite him over for dinner with my family, but I don’t know how to navigate this situation. But, honestly, I don’t know how to talk about it with my family or bring up the idea with my mom up that I have a boyfriend. I understand that it’s customary to bring someone around after a certain amount of time has elapsed. I’m also upset that he brought up the long-term thing. Plus, his parents are younger than mine and he also has a gay brother. He, on the other hand, has been out to most of his family for years and they are all comfortable with it. But I’m upset because he knows that it takes time for my family to be comfortable with my being gay and it’s only been a year since I told them. I don’t know how to handle the situation since my boyfriend is reasonable for feeling the way he does. I know it’s been over a year since I told my brother and sister and mom that I’m gay, but I don’t think they’re ready to meet my boyfriend. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that it’s already been over a year and he hasn’t met my parents–I have met all my boyfriend’s friends and family except his dad, by the way–and he also asked me if I wanted a long-term relationship, which shocked me. My dad does not know (or at least I think he doesn’t) and I don’t plan on telling him anytime soon.Īnyway, after hanging out with my boyfriend’s friends and before we went our separate ways, my boyfriend was being cold and not talkative. My brother accepts me but doesn’t really want anything to do with that area of my life, and my sister accepts me and knows about my boyfriend but doesn’t really want to meet him at this moment. My mom isn’t too keen about it she grew up old-fashioned and she said it would take time for her to get used to it, but that she still loves me and wants me to be happy. Well, within the month of meeting my boyfriend, I grew some balls and I told my mom and then later my brother and sister. I brushed it off since my boyfriend and I have talked about it before and we were both on the same page since he knows the deal with my family.īasically, I was still in the closet when I met my boyfriend, meaning only some friends knew and that was about it. Then they asked my boyfriend if he has met my family or anyone else close to me, and I said “no.” Then they made faces, and I think the girl next to him said something to him. Recently, we went out with a group of his friends and they inquired about my family, so I showed them pictures, etc.
I’m a 24-year-old gay man who has been in a relationship with my 27-year-old boyfriend for about a year and two months and so far things have been good.